Who are you? Who do you want to, or need to be? These are questions I recently started asking myself, and believe everyone, especially young girls and women, need to ask themselves, frequently. I think these questions are important because they are connected. If you don’t know who you are, it’s hard to decide who you want to be. If you can’t decide who you want to be, then you allow society to dictate that for you, which in the long run, will leave you unhappy and confused. I believe one of the greatest challenges in life, is not in finding who you are, but in being honest with yourself about it; because, once you admit it to yourself, you no longer have an excuse for not working on becoming who you need to be, in order to accomplish the things you want to accomplish. In order to be better. For many, this is a hard hurdle to get over because it requires being introspective and pointing the finger at themselves and not others,for their shortcomings.
Don’t get me wrong, when I suggest you ask who you are and who you want to be, I’m not saying you should have your favorite actor/actress, athlete, or entertainer in mind. I’m suggesting you take note of the person you are, your character, the good and bad, and then figure out a way to work on what you struggle with. Standing in your truth and saying,”OK, this is who I am, but what do I need to heal internally, or fix mentally, to truly fulfill my goals. What is holding me back?” We all have something that is holding us back, because the ego is a fragile thing that once broken, can manifest itself in different way, and take years to detect. The fear of making mistakes, over eating, anger, criticism from others, lack of trust, self-doubt often leading to procrastination or avoidance, are a few of the many ways a broken ego is manifested. I know this because in looking at myself, and standing in my truth, I struggle with a couple of these things. My ego was broken as a child, and while lifting weights helped patch it up, the only thing that could truly heal it was me being honest with myself.
I read a quote the other day by Jose N. Harris that says, “When you find your path, you must ignore fear. You need to have the courage to risk mistakes, but once you are on that road… run, run, run, and don’t stop ’til you’ve reached the end.” In me standing in my truth, I have discovered that path that I need to be on and I am running. I’m running because I know who I am, and who I want and need to be. I’m running because I understand the person I am has gotten me this far, but won’t take me the distance and I’m running because I believe in standing in my truth being accountable for who I’ve been, who I am, and who I’ve yet to be, I will reach the end of my path.
Early I stated, “Who are you, and who do you want or need to be… is a question everyone should ask themselves regularly, especially young girls and women.” I believe it is important that young girls start asking themselves this question so that they know the answer by the time they become women. Their answers will definitely change as they grow into adulthood, but they need to start asking themselves the question now. We live in a male oriented society/world, and while both Women’s Rights and Women’s Lib have done immeasurable things for us, society, via social media, entertainment, magazines, and many other sources is sending subliminal and blatant messages that women should look and act a certain way. That if they dare to be different and stray from the norm, then they are not acceptable, not attractive, not feminine, and are often described as one word, “Bitch.” Now I know many women have no problem with using this word to describe themselves, or their closest girlfriends; however, it has been and still is used to degrade women across the board. Whether they are the CEO that goes as hard as their male counterparts in the office, or a young woman, thwarting a man’s advances, that word is used to break their ego, their spirit, and strip them of their humanity. Young girls need to know and understand that they can be whoever they truly choose, without labels of shame.